Since Crossfit told me I was coming on too strong and he wasn't feeling it "that way" we've actually been friends. And I've enjoyed it. To a point. Since I no longer care what he thinks of me I am free to be brutally honest with him, tell him when he's annoying me, and get a straight man's perspective on things from time to time. He, in turn, has come to me for some of the same things. It's how a friendship works, right?
But lately he has been constantly making sexual comments to me. At first it was just complimentary guy friend comments about how I'm hot and what have you. I was flattered and laughed them off, figuring he was just being a nice guy. Then suddenly everything I said was grounds for him to make some obnoxious sexual comment:
Me: "Wow this rain really sucks."
Him: "Yeah it does, maybe if I gave you a massage you'd feel better."
Um, EW.
When his comments started getting gross and inappropriate, I'll admit, maybe I wasn't as firm with him as I should've been. But after the 15th time in 5 minutes I said that we are F-R-I-E-N-D-S and that's it. Period. End of gchat discussion since this is the only way we have communicated since he decided he didn't want to date me.
Apparently my spelling it out did not make it clear to him that I had zero intention of ever getting naked with him again in this lifetime. The other day he asked me to hang out and, already exhausted from fighting off his sexual advances I told him that I did not want to hang out with him because I did not trust him to just HANG OUT. He was shocked by my response and couldn't believe I didn't trust him since I'm one of his "closest friends."
I point blank asked him how he could call me one of his closest friends when all he ever wanted to talk to me about was sex.
His response? "Well you've always known I want to have sex with you again so why don't we just get it over with and then we can move on?"
I'm sorry, WHAT?!?! Seriously dude, you've been unemployed so long your brain has turned to mush and your synapses are clearly misfiring because how you even think that is a POSSIBILITY is beyond me. Again, I said as much.
And his response is what made me thank God, Buddha, Xenu and any other higher powers that may or may not exist that I never got into a relationship with this moron.
He said that if I never had any intention of sleeping with him again I shouldn't have ever brought it up. I pointed out that *I* never *did* bring it up, HE always did but I didn't just tell him to shut up every time he said something to that effect. OK, my mistake, I was trying to just ignore the inappropriate-ness and change the subject. Fine. Lesson learned. But then he had the audacity to say THIS:
"I don't like people to be wishy-washy when they are talking about something I want. That's a very mean thing to do to me. Imagine a mom driving her kid by Disneyland a bunch of times and then telling him he's not allowed to go inside. That's like what you are doing to me."
At this point I had to step away from the computer because my head exploded and I needed to clean up the mess it made.
I mean REALLY?!?!?!?! How STUPID can one human being BE?!?!?! The frightening thing is that he believes this is a perfectly legit and justified statement he just made.
I thought my man Muscles made the stupidest move I've ever seen a guy make when he tried to sell me his U2 tickets after he dropped me like a bad habit, but I think Crossfit just one upped him.
Only sleep with someone you love or can say you love without smirking,
LL
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