San Dieg-NO!

Within minutes of the marathon date ending I received a text from San Diego saying how much fun he had had and how he felt like he was in a movie because I was so awesome and he had so much fun.

I was too busy texting Crikey on my drive home to respond. Oops.

The next day I received an email saying pretty much the same thing. The ending line was, "I don't know where you came from, but I'm glad I found you." Ok hold the phone. Let's NOT join hands and start a love train. We've only spent one evening together. A long evening, no doubt, but an evening nonetheless.

Ahh...so THIS is how Crossfit felt.

I mustered up as much enthusiasm as I could and sent him a flirty, non-committal email back. Then I maintained radio silence for a few days.

Come Thursday he started texting me from Vegas, sending me pics of the house he was staying in, etc. He once again mentioned coming to see me on Sunday and I once again tried to come up with a response that wasn't too encouraging. Last I had heard from him was around 3pm on Saturday when he told me I was weirding him out because I said that I hated Vegas.

Sunday morning came and went and just as I was thinking to myself, "REALLY? Did I just get "dumped" over my dislike of Vegas?!" I got a call from a strange number. I do not answer numbers, so I let it go to voicemail. Sure enough, it was him.

I called him back on the strange number and got the story: he had gotten so drunk the night before that he had blacked out and lost his phone. This is a perfectly laughable story for a guy aged 21 on his first trip to Vegas. But for a 38 year old man who should know better?! Come on. I mean, I even thought the guys in The Hangover were kind of pathetic. Now here this guy is living it. Not impressed.

He asked if he could come see me and against my better judgement, I said yes. I gave him directions to my house and we hung up. After about 5 minutes of thinking to myself I realized I was so NOT kosher with this strange guy I hardly know spending the night at my apartment.

Look at that, skip the Sunday morning mimosa and suddenly I've got standards.

I called him back and told him as much and he said that was cool, he'd just stay at a friend's and we could go to dinner and a movie. I felt much better about this so I said great. It was 11:30am by this time and he said he'd leave at noon. I said I'd see him in 4 or 5 hours.

5pm came...

6pm came....

7pm came........at this point I was asking my roommate if it was acceptable for me to get in my pajamas and start eating macaroni and cheese because clearly this guy was NOT going to show up. She told me to give him til 8pm.

8pm came. San Diego did not. Pass the pajamas.

The roomie and I were watching the Grammys stuffing our faces when suddenly there's a knock on the door. We looked at each other in horror. No WAY this fool would show up 5 HOURS LATE, especially after I had just told him 9 hours prior that I was not comfortable with him sleeping at my place.

Oh but he did. He blamed traffic and told me some sob story about how he couldn't give up on coming to see me, despite how bad it was. Gross. Not wanting to encourage his staying any longer than he had to I quickly handed him a parking pass so that the tow nazis that troll our streets didn't tow his car off, effectively stranding him at my place.

He came back in with his clothes and toothbrush. Um, I'm sorry, what part of "I'm not comfortable with you staying here" did you not understand? I was so disgusted with him I couldn't even bring myself to touch him, let alone make out with him. We made awkward conversation for about an hour and then it was bedtime.

Any subtlety was abandoned. I grabbed a blanket, handed it to him, and gave a pointed glance at the couch. Thankfully, he understood what I was implying. I told him it'd probably be easiest if he left in the morning when I left for spin class since my roommate and I both needed to get ready for work and there was only one bathroom. Then, to stick the knife in and twist it some more, when he asked where the dogs slept, I told him, "Oh they sleep in the bed with me."

You got it dude? The dogs get to snuggle up with me in bed. You get to snuggle up with your hangover on the couch.

I wonder if he'll call me again....

The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog,
LL