*$#@*!(#!!

Oooh boy. Just had a close call.

One thing I haven’t quite figured out is what one is supposed to say while dating multiple people. If someone asks me point blank, “Are you seeing other people?” then of course I’m going to be honest with them. But then there are other situations that are somewhat of a gray area. Allow me to explain.

Crossfit, whom I have not yet talked about because I just don’t know if I’m all that into him or even care to meet him, is trying to start this online business. This business is, coincidentally, the same business that Millionaire has already achieved success in. I mentioned to him that I dated a guy who was very successful in the realm he was trying to break into.

He says, “Was it [Millionaire’s name]?”

Oh. Shit. What if they’re friends?! What if he notices I said “datED” not “datING.” (A nuance I’m sure only super literal, over analytical people like myself notice.)

Proceed to panic mode. Do not pass Go. Do not stop and pick up condoms.

Why am I panicking? Because things with Millionaire and I are starting to go well! I don’t want to screw this up just because I simply didn’t know the dating etiquette for how to talk to people about other people you are dating. Though now it is painfully obvious that you just DON’T.

I don’t care if one guy you’re dating has won the title of ping pong champion of Louisiana and guy number two mentions he was the first runner up for the title of ping pong champion of Louisiana, you smile, nod, and act like you’ve never heard of the topic before.

After a few more minutes of freaking out and worrying that he wasn’t answering my chat message because he was on the phone to Millionaire telling him what a funny coincidence he’d just run into, Crossfit relieves all my stress. Turns out he and Millionaire have a mutual friend who has suggested to Crossfit that he talk to Millionaire about the business. But, Crossfit being a man, he has decided he wants to make it a success through his own hard work and stubbornness, not with help from anyone else.

Crisis averted. Heartbeat has returned to normal.

Here endeth the lesson,
LL