The JV Squad

First off, my apologies for the delay in posting. Was a bit overwhelmed by life last week and the wittiness just wasn't there. Nor were the dates. But I'm back now and ready for action! (after the third date that is...)

I realized last week that my man "rotation" had dwindled down to one: Millionaire. While I enjoy him and am still curious about him, I am not one to put all my eggs in one basket....wow. That cliche takes on a whole new meaning when you are talking about dating and sex doesn't it? Ahem. Millionaire being the only stud in my stable made me nervous so it was time to head back to the rodeo.

First up? A guy I like to call Out of Africa. Why? Well...because he grew up in Africa. Logically. I had looked at his profile a few times but not his additional pics. Finally something made me do that and well hello handsome! Where have you been hiding? The additional pics were much more flattering than the main pic so he either has great photoshop skills or is easy on the eyes. I'm hoping for the latter.

In the position of center on my B team is a guy who's 6'7. The height instantly caught my eye but his emails are making me nauseous, and not in a good way. Exhibit A:

"I enjoy white wine too, but I usually don't drink it in the evening. However I love to pop that cool... crisp... Chardonnay on a hot and sunny sunday afternoon~out on a shaded patio where the scent of lavender and sweet honey-suckle lift our thoughts as conversation inspires~ The Sea is near~breeze is soft and salty on our lips... :) "

Seriously ladies? Are we that pathetic that men think we find this kind of crap ATTRACTIVE? If I am EVER turned on by this kind of talk someone do me a favor and just back over my head. Twice. I have no idea what I will do if I meet him and he actually talks like this in person. I DO know that I will be sure to bring cab fare on our date in case I laugh in his face and get stranded at some hippy dippy new age-y bar where they make their cocktails from whole wheat vodka and air. My roommate thinks he is kidding and knows how ridiculous he sounds. I can only hope.

Finally we have my favorite of the bunch: Crikey. He's from South Africa. His accent sounds British to me, hence the nickname. (and I just managed to offend an entire continent of people with that ignorant comment, didn't I? Awesome.) He's funny, in great shape, and an American citizen. No looking for a quickie green card marriage here, whew. Oh and he's tall but not freakishly tall like the Harlequin wannabe detailed above.

So there you have it. The debutante post of, hopefully, the next few dates. Now you just get to sit back and enjoy while they make fools of me, themselves, and the institution we call dating.

God created men because vibrators can't mow the lawn,
LL