Funions, party of one.

This weekend I went on 2 dates: one with a guy I had previously dated, one with a new internet lovah.

The first guy, I'll call him Speedracer, and I met before the holidays, and had an amazing first date.  During the week between our first and second date he did all the right things: texted me daily, called me mid-week to reconfirm plans for the weekend, texted me the morning of our second date saying how excited he was for that night.  However towards the end of that fateful date we somehow got on the subject of seeing other people.  He asked if I was dating others and I said, "Well...uh...yeah, I mean, we only met a week ago."  Speedracer did not like this answer and said he was not interested in dating someone who was dating other people.  If I liked him I should just date him.  I said that wasn't really fair and he'd given me a lot to think about and thus, our evening ended quite awkwardly.  We made half hearted plans for another date the following week but when he never followed up, neither did I.

He popped up in my inbox again a few weeks ago and hey, he's a nice guy and I know he meant well even if he was trying to rush things so I agreed to go out with him again.  My heart wasn't really in it but I know he probably is one of the good ones even if he's not the right one for me.  We went to dinner, conversation was good, attraction was still there, all the elements of a good date.  Yet it kind of made me sad.  I like Speedracer but I really like Funions.  I couldn't wait to go to the bathroom to check my phone and see if Funions had texted me.  (He was out of town for the weekend)  When I saw that he had sent me a text saying he missed me I couldn't keep the smile off my face.  Uh oh.

Sunday I had a brunch date with a new guy, we'll call him Nurse Jackie.  (I love that show.)  He's studying to be a nurse anesthetist, is age appropriate, tall, and looked quite handsome in his photos.  We met at a VERY loud restaurant in Manhattan Beach and unfortunately it seemed that his photos were from 25 pounds ago and turns out he's not studying to be a nurse anesthetist, he simply wants to be one.  Fine, great, good to have goals but I got the sense that he's just kind of bumming around unemployed til he gets up the motivation to take the GRE.  That's a far cry from being on an actual track to achieve your goal.  Conversation was fine but there was ZERO chemistry.  

And to think, I could have this guy instead of Funions.

Part of the reason there was zero chemistry is definitely my fault.  I was not really making an effort because I didn't want there to be any chemistry.  I want Funions.  This is both exciting and scary.  I have been doing this internet dating thing on and off for 3 years and the number of guys I've met who I'd actually consider taking my profile down for I can count on one hand.  Funions is the first I want to take it down for AND looks like a real possibility that I'm headed in that direction.  It's what I want but it also means being vulnerable again, which is a really terrifying feeling.

But when I first started these online adventures in romance I was terrified of the first date with a strange person I didn't know, and now I could take 1st prize in a first date competition.  (I give REALLY good first date.)  And look how well that worked out?  I found a Funions.

As Kevin McCallister in Home Alone once said, "This is it.  Don't get scared now."

Lust fades, so you better be with someone who can stand you,

LL