Bitter, party of one.

It is fascinating to me to read the blogosphere chatter about online dating. There is so much human psychology to be studied, therapists should fish commenters for new patients.

But there is one trend that I find particularly bothersome: the bitter and angry single.

For example, in a recent article on Salon.com about Match buying OKCupid, there was this gentleman:

"Things got so bad that I deliberately contacted two women in their mid-to-late 50s (who looked it), just to see what would happen. Sure enough, both women - who had no business rejecting any male attention that was not rude - told me they didn't think I was a match. The reality? Those women are doubtless still alone, as am I. The sad fact is that in the case of the second woman, who is 57, I actually wouldn't have minded pursuing something if she'd been so inclined, because in many ways that she failed to recognize we were a match."

Things "got so bad"? What does that even mean? Does it mean you were on a dating site for 5 years but never met "the one"? So what, at least you were out there doing your thing and meeting new people instead of sitting at home with your cat. (Though...if you are male and have a cat, I hesitate to say I don't know why you're single.)

When did dating become such a serious undertaking? Whatever happened to good old fashioned fun? Your success on a dating site, or just dating in general, is half dictated by your attitude towards it. Do you look at dates as a series of job interviews to find the man with sperm that would beat Michael Phelps in an Olympic heat? Do you have an Excel spreadsheet of your life plan, with significant events measured out in 5 year increments? Then YOU may be a large part of the problem.

Dating can suck. Trust me, I get that. But you severely handicap your experiences if you go into it with an attitude of "OK, I've decided I'm ready to be in a serious relationship with this specific type of person who will treat me this way and we will be married by this age and have this many kids." Who wants to go out with that?

I looked at my foray into online dating as a big joke. I started this blog to amuse myself and my friends and to keep myself from only dating guys that fit my pre-determined idea of "my type." I forced myself out of my comfort zone and laughed at myself. A lot.

And with that attitude I think you can't help but be a success. Have I met the love of my life? (Well...yes, according to my previous blog but we aren't even in a relationship so that doesn't count.) Nope. But what I have gained is increased self confidence, better understanding of what I'm looking for in a man and a relationship, and a lot of free booze.

So relax. Have fun. Drink too many martinis. And for Christ's sake, stop expecting your life to imitate a Sex and the City episode.

Kids!? No! Don't have kids! The rule is no kids until you're at least 45. Don't you EVER read my blog? It's gotten a lot better,
LL