LOML.

It never fails: save up for an expensive pair of shoes? Find them on sale the day you're wearing them. Go on a diet? Your roommate decides to bake cookies. Meet a seemingly nice, normal lawyer in a bar? LOML calls the next day.

LOML is the Love Of My Life. No really, he is.

I've known it since our second or third date when he sent me a link to an article about sunscreen, and how many products on the market do not offer the protection they claim to. This came with a list of approved sunscreens that he wanted to make sure I was using so that I didn't turn myself into a human french fry.

That was it. Game over. Checkmate. Lovesick.

Unfortunately, LOML comes with a treasure trove of emotional issues. So tragic are these issues that back in July, when we were seeing each other, he realized he needed to deal with these issues on his own before he could be part of a "we." We remained friends, but he pretty much went MIA to deal with his stuff. Which I understood completely.

Cut to Christmas Day. I haven't spoken to LOML in months. Sometime Christmas morning I look at my phone and see that I have a missed call. From LOML. I have hot flashes. Then chills. I may've blacked out momentarily.

In his message LOML tells me that he has been thinking about me a lot and wanted to thank me for being such a good friend to him this past year. He says that he's lucky to have me in his life and one of his new year's resolutions is to see me more in 2011.

*SWOON*

We've exchanged a few texts since but nothing serious. And of course, the week after I meet the Lawyer, LOML calls to set up a date. He suggests the place we first met.

The night before the date I can't sleep. I haven't been this excited since 3am Christmas Eve of 1994, when I snuck out of bed and found that Santa had put a training bra in my stocking. (I was the only one in my 6th grade gym class not wearing one so the creepiness of an old man giving an 11 year old a bra was lost on me.)

Work can't end fast enough and after 8 long painstaking hours, I'm finally free. I rush home, change clothes 15 times, and run out the door, late. (as usual) He is counting on this fact, knowing me as he does, and thus, I actually arrive first. (a fact worth noting since it NEVER HAPPENS.)

He is clearly nervous too. For the first 15 minutes I hardly manage to get a word in edgewise, and LOML is not usually an aimless chatterer. But I am so giddy just to be with him that he could be reading me sports scores and I'd still be smiling like a loon.

He apologizes for running his mouth so much and we talk about where I am in life and things that have happened over the past few months and how I'm handling them. I am completely honest with him. I couldn't lie to him if I tried. I adore him too much to start off anything that may happen between us on any lies.

It is a "perfect" date. He is just as warm and funny as he was when I first met him, but there's a feeling of more openness as we trust each other with the emotions we've both been dealing with over the past few months. I feel safe with him. And like I know where I stand. Are we going to run off to Vegas next week and get hitched on a whim? No. Is it going to be a bit of a bumpy ride as we continue to see each other and figure out what part we will each play in each other's lives? Yes. But I know that the ultimate result, if there is such a thing, will be worth it.

I feel calm, secure, and patient about what will unfold between us in the coming days, months, and years. Maybe he's my happy ending.

Love has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery,
LL