Once again, I apologize for my absence. I'm sure my grand total of 3 readers has now dropped to 2. Boo hiss.
Due to a mysterious illness just in time for Thanksgiving that made me feel decidedly UNSEXY, all dating was on an indefinite hiatus. I had had one date scheduled over the long holiday weekend with Crossfit, a gentleman I have briefly mentioned before, but which I had to cancel due to my all around grossness.
I've only mentioned Crossfit briefly because honestly, I never thought I'd meet him. But here's a litte Crossfit background: he first "winked" at me (via the dating site)and I ignored him. My initial reaction to him was, "Whoa, this hot guy is interested in ME?" because he IS gorgeous. However! His main profile picture was a professional headshot which in this town means actor. And actor is number one on my list of dating don'ts.
(I hope none of you industry folk reading this are taking this personally. It's just that I work with actors on a daily basis and thus, have no desire to date them.)
Anyway. Inspired one day by the lack of activity my profile had received, I went and looked at the dudes who had initiated some kind of contact that I had not been all that into. I took the time to read Crossfit's profile and despite multiple headshots, it seemed he was not in "the biz." Plus he had a doofy looking black lab in some of his pics, and I am a sucker for a dopey looking dog. So I winked back.
After a few emails we began talking on gchat. This was shortly after Muscles dropped me like a bad habit so I was looking to distract myself and lick my wounds. I enjoyed talking to him but then he told me that he was actually in Canada for a month or so and once again, my interest waned. If he's not even in the same area code the chances of his helping me nurse my bruised ego were slim. I am an instant gratification kind of girl and this guy did not fit into that plan.
We continued to chat online and before I knew it he was back in LA and asking me to hang out. My head was wrapped around Millionaire and thus, I was in no rush. Plus, Crossfit had waved a big red flag at me: much like Muscles, he was semi unemployed. As I mentioned in a previous post, Crossfit is trying to break into the same internet business that Millionaire is already established and successful in. Having seen how Millionaire approaches his work, and hearing Crossfit's ideas, I just didn't feel all that confident in Crossfit's abilities so, as I said, I was in no rush.
The more we talked online the more I started to enjoy him and, despite my friends warnings, I decided coffee with him wouldn't hurt. I knew I wasn't going to be into him, but I enjoyed talking to him, and if his internet biz took off, hey, maybe he'd hire me.
We met last Wednesday at a coffee shop in Beverly Hills. I, in my usual fashion, was running late. As I practically ran up to our meeting place he greeted me with a big hug. A hug so big he even picked me up and spun me around.
H-O-T my friends.
I LOVE a guy who can make me feel small and feminine, which is not easy given my Harlem Globetrotter-esque height. I had expected him to be about 6 feet tall since every other guy, with the exception of Muscles, that I've met from the site has been that tall or a few inches shorter. So this was a pleasant and unexpected surprise.
In the light of the coffee shop I was reminded of just how HOT this guy was. Whew. Not in a Muscles, fake tan, overly Muscle-y way, but in a genuinely handsome, classic, nice looking kind of way. As I get older I am finding this kind of handsome-ness WAY more intriguing and attractive than the pretty boys I used to be into. The score so far: Crossfit - 2, my judgementalness - 0.
We spent the next 2 hours talking about everything and anything. Conversation flowed easily, he was affectionate in an appropriate way, and he smelled delicious. I was also a little surprised at how intelligent he was. From some of his grandiose ideas he had talked about in regards to his business I got the feeling he was a bit of a space cadet, but in person he was not at all. And he had an incredibly sexy voice. Yum.
At the end of the date he whispered to me, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I might kind of LIKE you." Ughhhhhh there dude, you had to go and blow it. I know, I know. He likes me. That's good, right?!
Wrong.
I mean. It IS good. But when a guy tells me he likes me so soon, it skeeves me out. I realize this makes no sense. It's my own insecurities at play. I think, hey, this guy likes me after knowing me ten minutes? What's wrong with him?!
I was explaining all of this to my therapist the following day and she, in her wise therapist ways, said,
"Wait a second. You sit here every week and tell me you want a guy who adores you, who wants to hang out with you, who makes an effort and time for you, and then you find a guy who seems ready to do that and you go, 'Ugh.' You can't have it both ways."
She makes an excellent point. (dammit)
We had plans to hang out Saturday and instead of rolling my eyes and thinking, this guy is so NOT for me, I decided to embrace my geeky feelings of "like", no matter how scary they may be. I sent him a text earlier in the day telling him how excited I was to see him that night.
Then promptly had an anxiety attack.
What if he thinks I'm a huge geek and way too into him? What if he's so busy attempting to break Tiger Woods' record for most number of mistresses that he responds "Who are you?"
Fortunately, he said he had been thinking about it non stop too. WHEW.
Saturday night was AWESOME. We had a totally low key night and I felt so comfortable and so....happy! That sounds cheesy but it's true. There was no censoring myself, second guessing everything he was saying, trying to make sure I was acting the right way and saying all the right things....I was just ME. And he liked me as me. From past dating experiences and relationships, I have not always had this feeling of security and acceptance so to feel it was exciting yet calming at the same time.
He spent the night. Ahem. I know, I know, I know! It was only the second date but I couldn't help myself! I feel good about ME when I'm with him. Someone who can make me feel like that is apparently a huge turn on. Who knew?!
I have already asked him to come to a Christmas party with me this weekend where he will be meeting a bunch of my gay friends. This is quite the test. I haven't brought any of the guys from this online dating experience around to meet my boys. You think women are judgemental? Try gay men. They will tell you EXACTLY what they think and, much to my dismay, they're usually right. So to want them to meet him already means he may be something special.
Or at least, I hope he is.
Women might be able to fake orgasms but men can fake whole relationships,
LL
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